Vocal Chords
by Fae 206
Summary: Rewrite of The Voice. Future Set. Kuon Hizuri was able to get all he wanted from his life in Japan, a legacy as an actor, numerous polls ranking him first, a loving wife in Kyoko. So how could he be bored? Wanting a change in his life and having accidentally picked up an audition form for LME Men's, Kuon creates the identity of MAIZE. Can he hide this from Kyoko? How far can he go?
1. Chapter 0 - The Idea

**This is a rewrite of my fic The Voice. I really wanted to extend the portion of time that Kyoko is in the dark about all of this. If you want to have an idea of how I see their house, the address for the place you can see a video of the residence: gravitas minamiazabu**

 **Hope you enjoy**

 **Vocal Chords**

 **Prologue – The Idea**

Mr. Kuon Hizuri.

That's what it says on every piece of mail that I receive these days. Mr. Kuon Hizuri living in a nice house in Minato, Tokyo. Mr. Kuon Hizuri, legendary actor in Japan as well as having some directorial and screenwriter credits married to multiple award-winning actress, Kyoko Hizuri. Mr. Kuon Hizuri who is known for playing piano in movies, who is known for his stunning charisma, who is twenty-six years old and extremely bored.

Even as I stand in our welcoming living room which has small figurines of princess inspired figures, fashionable vases with flowers in them, bookcases filled with scripts. Even as I stand here, I feel empty. I stretch back, and take a deep breath in to steady myself, to settle myself, I'm bored.

When I was younger my mind was fully directed towards my one goal, going to America and becoming a Hollywood actor. I didn't care about anything else but pursuing my dream and fulfilling my vision and then she came along and everything changed. America definitely didn't seem that important anymore. Hollywood was inconsequential compared to her. I started focusing on my girlfriend who became my fiancée who became my wife.

I forgot how exciting it can get to challenge yourself and learn something new. I forgot that excitement when you're thinking about all that you could possibly do in the world and I need something to direct my attention towards or otherwise I'm going to get stuck in that mind game or whether I am Kuon Hizuri or whether I am Ren Tsuruga.

Or, my eyes catch onto a piece of paper that I must have very mistakenly picked up.

Men's Audition for LME, no Age Limit.

I freeze, maybe I could play my hand at being somebody else. If I did my own makeup then I could probably fool the president and it would give me a chance to test my hand at singing, at something different. I grin to myself. This could work, this could work extremely well and would be a lot of fun.

A singing idol.

I just have to create a persona to apply for this thing and then I can get my debut as an artist. I've heard that this audition process can be crazy to process and that the president seems to have his own fun with it. I never auditioned for LME, Boss took me under his wing out of pure faith and I proved my talent as an actor by working hard because if I didn't, I would have to return to America.

It might be fun to work at the bottom rungs of the ladder for a little bit, definitely much more of a challenge then Kuon Hizuri who has to turn down offers and wedge in modeling shoots with a beautiful house and a beautiful wife and a beautiful life. Okay, let's do it!


	2. Chapter 1 - New Journies

**Chapter Two : New Journeys**

I never knew there were so many different types of singers, there are sub categories within sub categories and they all seem to have a similar brand. Well, with the audition coming up in a few weeks, I'll have to definitely try to secure the clothes that I need, well that MAZE will need. That seems to be the type of name of a rock star so I'll try to use that style of singing. Maybe I could even check out some of the Visual Kei outfits, I think R. Mandy might have even provided me with some clothes I could fashion.

The riskiest move is to transform myself without Kyoko realizing who I am. I have toyed with the idea of telling her myself who I am but that might mean that she attaches herself to me, exposing me in an unfamiliar manner.

She's my wife, my loving and supportive wife and that means that she knows everything about me. She can even listen to my breath and without the aid of a stethoscope be able to tell me exactly how I'm feeling. I can't hide from her unless I beat her at conspicuously, dazzle her to the point that she doesn't even recognize me. She doubted herself about Cain Heel before, working even harder I could do that again but that would probably mean investing in a wig and contacts. Not that many people in this country with natural emerald eyes and naturally blond hair.

Perhaps I could wear glasses. Some square rimmed frames that would go over deep brown eyes, maybe even chocolate brown eyes. That way people would be more concentrated on seeing my eyes rather than picturing, oh how does this guy look with green eyes.

I pick out a couple of jackets that I wouldn't normally wear and complete the order by selecting some shirts, pants, and shoes. Next I have to work on accessories. Apart from the glasses maybe I should wear some type of chain or get my ear pierced. No, unless I used a fake piercing which definitely isn't as good or well designed, it would leave an after effect and if she tried to nuzzle me, she would pick it up immediately.

Perhaps there are some reasonable clip ons, ones I could use to say that Kuon Hizuri doesn't have a pierced ear but that MAZE does so how could I possibly be him. I need to think about my accent as well. I don't want to have the crisp and clean accent of Ren Tsuruga, dead giveaway, but I'm pretty sure my more casual and laidback accent that is genuinely mine is something Kyoko has memorized.

A rougher Yankee type accent, maybe a gravely voice. Maybe I could take up smoking again although the consequences with that is risking addiction. That would be obvious but worse than that, it would concern her. She already worries that I'm not eating enough, to add on another health concern might make her overprotective.

I adore her but even though we are married, I can't let her get too close to me before I streamline this idea. I don't even really know how she feels about smoking but my guess is that she doesn't like it. Being raised in a ryokan and spending so much time in a restaurant she must have become accustomed to cigarettes but maybe there's a difference between a patron of an establishment smoking and her own husband. I don't want to let her down.

I hear a key in the door and I immediately pick up the audition form, storing it in a mostly empty drawer where I have the only key. I stand up to greet her. As I approach the front door, I am once again taking aback by how absolutely gorgeous she is. She's definitely matured in these last few years but I knew that she was beautiful all the time. I didn't know that she would become this stunning and be seen as the better looking of the two of us.

Was that my ego talking?

"Welcome home," I grin as she puts down her back and runs towards me, throwing her arms around me happily.

"I'm home," she squeaks as she looks up at me and I lean down to kiss her. The height different isn't _as much_ as it once was. She grins as she pulls out of the kiss first and places a hand on my chest. She spreads her fingers across my chest before grinning to me, she's excited about something.

"Kuon, I've got great news to share with you," she tells me and I tilt my head to the side. Whatever her news is, I'm excited to hear it. Seeing her happy, seeing her with something that truly motivates her makes me feel good and strong and proud to be her husband.

"Great news, huh?" I ask with a playful smile and she nods again. "Well then, princess," I tell her, pressing my lips to her forehead, "I can't wait to learn what it is. If there's any way that I can be a part of it then let me know. I love you," I tell her and she pauses, letting those words sink in.

"I love you too," she tells me as her cheeks redden. She looks up at me, admiring me. She once told me that she felt lucky to be with me. I'm the lucky one here. I'm the one who is with the most beautiful, talented, compassionate, and brave woman in the entertainment industry. I hate lying to her but I want this to be a surprise for her, I'll tell her eventually.

…

…

How can this be my life? How can the former Ren Tsuruga be my loving husband, a man who turned out to be my precious Corn, someone who is so kind and smart and talented and loving. He has done so many loving and understanding things in our relationship and I adore him for it. I have my hand stretched over his chest so that I can feel his muscles. He's so attractive. Every time I look into his eyes and see his natural hair color, my breath is stolen from me.

"I love you too," I tell him and he smiles. That's how wonderful our relationship is, I can tell him how much I love him and he just reacts so positively and happily. I'm glad that all the pain in my life happened because everything led me back to him, it led me to marry my fairy prince, to upgrade from Shotaro Fuwa.

However, I do have some news that I hope he will feel happy about. It's risky, I'll be away for a while but I think that he'll understand and I trust him. He won't go around kissing other women and leading them to taxis, he'll be happy for my success. He is always so kind to me, more understanding than anyone has ever been.

"So," he says patiently as I remind myself how adorable he is, "what is the news you're talking about, princess?"

"I got offered a role in a film where half of it will be shot internationally," I tell him and I see him smile and look impressed. He's done some foreign films in the past and he's been travelling international for a while. Now I get to act on the same level that he's been doing and he looks happy. He's not telling me I'm plain and boring, he genuinely feels happy for me.

"That's amazing, well they definitely made the right choice," he tells me before laughing softly. I tilt my head to the side. He's got something else to say and I hope that he just tells me. Even if it's something like doubt that I can do it, knowing that he's not saying something is even worse.

"Is anything wrong?" I ask him as I reach a hand up to his cheek, I caress it gently, "What aren't you saying, my Corn?"

Kuon laughs softly and then grins, "I'll miss you when you're not here," he tells me as he takes my hand in his and squeezes it. "But I'll survive, I'll just have to spoil you when you get back as well as before you leave. I'll have to make sure you know how much I love you."

"I already know how lucky I am to be loved as much as you do. You remind me of how much we love each other every single day, I am so so lucky to have you. Promise me that we'll be able to do video calls with each other as much as possible. Even if we don't have any amazing news that day, I want to see you. I think I'll starve if I don't see you," I tell him. It's true, I'll get cravings for his touch, his lips, his voice. Maybe we won't be able to hold one another and I won't be able to enjoy a slow breath whilst he holds me to his chest but I'll be able to see him, to know that he's okay.

"I promise," he smiles to me before leading me to the living room and I follow him. I want to sit in his lap, have him hold me as close and as sweetly as possible.

"So, tell me more about this job," he says as he sits down on the sofa and pulls me down with him. I cuddle close to him, kissing his cheek and nuzzling his neck. I didn't even understand love until I became his girlfriend and now I'm even deeper in love with him as his wife.

"I would be playing a rich young woman who travels the globe to write for a travel magazine and I fall in love with a local in one of the countries, I then have to decide whether I am going to leave him and focus on my career or whether I want to follow love," I tell him and he nods along. I wonder if he is truly interested or whether he wants to comfort me.

It feels as if he's hiding something from me. Sometimes I can't figure out what he's hiding from me but I know that he is and I hope that it isn't something that I've done wrong. If I've ever done something wrong then just tell me. I would rather be able to make up for my mistake than continue doing it. Plus, this relationship, our marriage, is the single most important thing to me.

"Kuon, don't worry, okay?" I tell him and he hums. "I'm not going to fall in love with anyone else. I'm _your_ girl. I'm your wife and I don't want anyone else to touch me. They wouldn't be able to love me and care about me the way that my amazing husband does. I love you, Kuon. My heart will never belong to -"

"I know, my heart is the same, gift wrapped and tagged for you," he tells me before pausing. "Kyoko, if there are some boxes for me that come in the mail then please don't open them." I'm not sure what he's saying, I've only twice opened packages addressed to him in the past before. "I'd rather you not know what's in them."

I laugh and he hums, tilting his head to the side curiously. "Don't worry, Kuon," I tell him with a large grin. "I'd much rather you be ordering those types of magazines to use when I'm away than another woman." It's true. I don't care how much porn he orders, he doesn't deserve to dry up and I'm going to make sure he's very well taken care of before I leave the country.

 **End of Chapter Two**

 **Thank you for reading**

 **Thank you reviewers of Chapter One**

Erza, KrisXD

 **Response to Reviews**

Glad that you are enjoying this story


	3. Chapter 2 - Your Choice

**AN:** Thank you for your patience with the update 😊

 **Chapter Two – Your Choice**

The wig is a little bit longer than I would have wanted and I feel as if I should complain to the company website that this is…different. As I put it on, noticing the way that the silver undertones compliment the jet black strands that make up the majority of the wig. I look around before picking up the wig cap to get all strands of blond away from my face and slip it on. The wig definitely needs to be cut, some jagged cuts preferred because I don't like the way it flows past my shoulders.

I sigh as I grab a globe and put it on there. I might be one of those rare people who actually owns a globe this day but it gives me an opportunity to cut this wig. I pull out a couple of the other items in the box including a set of fake eyelashes that these visual kei singers will occasionally use. I'll keep these as a backup because mascara might do better.

I pull out the different clothes and gravitate towards an expensive hooded leather jacket. There's also a pair of dark gray jeans that are almost black. The leather boots are also exciting, actually those might be the most exciting part of this box and I'm more than excited to wear them. Fortunately, Kyoko has gone to meet with the director and producer about her part in her international work. I have time to figure out who MAZE is.

I grab the pair of scissors and make some light cuts, I can always make them more defined later. I then pick up the clothes, maybe I should add some color as well, make it different from Cain Heel and not steer towards him. I need to figure out the differences. As I move towards the bedroom, I get changed and fold up the clothes for Kuon Hizuri and change into MAZE's gear.

As I get the clothes on and then put the wig on, I can feel it coming together. Next is the makeup. Kyoko would never believe that I would willingly use makeup or even put it on and she's going to be even harder to fool than the president. If Boss finds out when I'm auditioning he might fail me because it would seem nepotistic to pass me.

I need to figure out who MAZE is but seeing myself standing as him, I'm starting to figure out my background. This is going to be a fun ride and hopefully I won't just go down in flames although I never had a history of arsony before, maybe MAZE does.

…

…

Kuon has always been so supportive of my career. There are a lot of people who would get nervous about their significant other being away from them for work but Kuon trusts me, he's excited for me, he's excited for my career. Yes, every step that I've made as an actress seems to be just another step that he has made before, but that only helps him guide me. He still lets me make my own decisions even if they are different than what he would have done. I'm really lucky that my sempai is my husband.

I have really tried to use the tips that I've received from other female models in how I've dressed and presented myself. Kuon spoils me when it comes to makeup. He knows that I love it and in fact, because of how much I love it, I made it one of the rules in our relationship that he is not allowed to just buy me jewelry or makeup if I'm upset with him. Things I love can not be used as bribes.

There's only been a few times when I've been truly upset with him though and he's done more than enough to cover himself and have me still be madly in love with him. I pause as I enter the building and see people notice me and point me out. I should be thinking about my job and not about my husband. Well, he's a bit part of showbusiness so how could I _not_ think of him.

After navigating my way through the building, I get to the office where the director said he would be meeting me. I need to remember that English might be preferred in this situation. Every time I think about English, I think about Kuon practicing with me. Who knew that his Californian accent was so sexy? Well, he doesn't seem to think so but it's so…exotic, like him. I wouldn't have thought that Ren Tsuruga would actually be a playboy blond, an emerald-eyed sweet talker, a king of the night in the bathroom who can use both his voice and his touch to make me tingle.

Okay, stop thinking about Kuon, you're better than that, Kyoko. You'll be able to go home and be in his arms. Concentrate on this meeting, Kyoko.

I knock on the door and the director opens it for me so I drop into a deep bow having seen him. "Williams-san," I say as I lift my head and see his kind face, if they stood side by side, Kuon would even look more Japanese than this guy. Okay, maybe slight comparisons to Kuon are okay if it doesn't take me off target and the aim is to impress the director.

"Hizuri-san," he smiles to me in Japanese, "I've been wanting to meet with you. I've been a fan of your work for a while. I think that you made a stunning Mio in Dark Moon but it was your Momiji in Lotus in the Mud that really made me keep an eye on you in that case."

I smile. Two of my early roles and two of my strongest and yet those two roles led to me doing roles that I was excited for, ones of kinder and yet more complicated characters and Kuon always motivated me into doing that. I enter the room before seeing a man sitting in another chair. I don't know who he is and I'm attempting to place which modelling agency he could be with. He looks a couple of years younger than Kuon and his body is a bit more toned but that's because Kuon is an actor first and a model second.

"You're gorgeous," the man says as he picks up a rose from a vase and walks over to me. I pause as he puts it to his nose and then slips it into my hand. I look at it as I remember when I had that Thankful Party with Maria and Ren took that rose out of his coat to give to me at midnight and how that rose had Princess Rosa in it. He was always doing those types of things for me. "I'm so glad to be working with you."

"I'm…uh, yeah," I say as I drop into a bow, "Glad to be working with you as well. I…Are you…I thought that the lead ac-"

"I'm not an actor," the man says as he puts a hand to my shoulder and my eyes widen. His hand does not belong there. Only Kuon can touch me in this kind of way. "I'm the producer."

I take a step back before dropping into a deeper bow, Kuon would scold me if I was unprofessional and I would scold myself for being disrespectful. This is someone who I need to impress and if I don't react to his advances then it's okay. He'll get the picture and move on or…no, no, it would be stupid to think that he's interested in me that way. Only Kuon would -

As I rise I see him right in front of me. He's what you might call a Japanese God, someone who has the charm and gorgeous appearance of a new Ren Tsuruga. No. Not gorgeous. He's not gorgeous. That's a word only reserved for Kuon. Without my foresight, he leans across and kisses me on the cheek and my eyes widen.

"Hi," I say as I take a step backwards not sure what to say. I'm completely off guard and I'm trying to figure out what to tell Kuon. I see him grin and my eyes widen again before I train my face to look normal again. This is just something that some people do. It's what…European..and this role is important to me. Kuon would understand.

"Hi," the producer says as he holds my hand and brings it to his lips, "I'm so honored to be in the presence of such beauty and talent, Kyoko."

…..

…

I've always wanted to buy a really nice guitar but it would just be one thing in my collection that would be for show and so I always looked at the aesthetics. I can play somewhat, it's not as if I'm embarking on some insane quest where I don't know how to do anything. When I learned the piano I was inspired by my childhood memories, the songs that my father used to play for my mother and she used to dance or at least sway to. After learning how to play the piano by following music and not just hand movements, I turned my attention to other instruments.

However, if I'm going to be auditioning then I need a guitar that will be able to impress people by looks but also play very well. Maybe I could just buy a few. I see people staring at me wondering who I am and I'm glad that I went out as MAZE to do this. I can work on his backstory, the way he speaks, the way he moves.

"What are you looking for?" I hear somebody ask me and I pause. This voice gives me an unpleasant gnawing at my stomach and makes me feel ill but did he just approach me with neutral emotions, I turn to him, my eyes hidden behind the glasses.

"I have an audition," I tell him. Why is he talking to me? I'm not a fan of his and he's got far too much of an ego to just talk to the little people. Fuwa, what are you doing here? "Aren't you Sho Fuwa?" I ask and he nods.

"I'm picking up something special here but they are making a star like me wait," he says and I sigh, that sounds more like him. He wouldn't want to wait and he's probably talking badly about the people here. It's like when Kyoko told me about that giant umbrella that she had to carry. People really shouldn't look down on others.

'You've got the vibe of a celebrity already," he says and I wonder if he….no, Fuwa would never be nice to me, he's too bitter about our rivalry about Kyoko. I know that he still loves her…right?

"Thanks but still have to pass the audition," I tell him and he sighs before pointing out a guitar that I had been looking at before and then without any malice in his voice picks it up. He walks over to me and hands me the guitar.

"How does that feel?" he asks and I'm in shock. He's actually acting like a decent human being. It's so puzzling to me, "I think that one would work well," he then walks away and I stare at the guitar. It does feel good and as I put my hand over it, it plays well.

No, there's no way that Sho Fuwa is a decent human being.

 **End of Chapter Two**

 **Thank you for reading**

 **Thank you to reviewers of Chapter One**

H-Nala, Kotoko-98, Kris XD, ktoll9

 **Response to Reviews**

Thank you guys for the support. I think Kyoko is going to be really surprised by a lot of things to come and I really am pleased you guys like the point of view. Thank you for all of your support.


	4. Chapter 3 - Discovered

**AN:** Thank you for your patience in the updating of this fic. I hope you enjoy it.

 **Chapter Three – Discovered**

I look at him, my eyes drifting back and forth from where he is to the floor and back again. He's always been really supportive of me and I know that this drama that I'm acting in is just going to be more of him supporting me and yet I know how uncomfortable he would feel were I to go up to him and tell him that I was kissed by another man, a man that I felt was attractive.

I've heard that in good relationships there are mixed feelings and arguments and fights and that all of these things make you a stronger couple with your significant other but those types of thoughts shouldn't include jealousy or possessiveness. I belong to Kuon anyway and I don't want to think that my heart could be swayed by another man. No, telling him would be worse because how could I even tell him such a thing.

"Are you okay?" he asks as I stare at him again, "Can you tell me about your meeting today?" he smiles and I continue to look at him not sure what to say. Hey, Kuon, guess what there was a really attractive guy that I met today and I can't figure out whether or not there was a spark between us. No, I can't say that. Kuon punishes himself enough and I can't even begin to think of the mental damage that might cause him.

I shrug, "It was just a meeting," I reply hoping that he doesn't read through my words. He looks at me confused and walks over, wrapping an arm around me. I don't want to tell him but I know that he wants me to be honest with him. Heh, honesty. That's been a word in our relationship as a couple but before that he was anything but honest…although, I did play into that as well when I was the role of Bo.

"Is there something you don't want to talk about?" he asks and I pause.

"Of course not, just some professional work," I laugh and I know that saying that has made him even more suspicious. He sighs and nuzzles my neck in the adorable way that I imagine Cain doing. We've really been through a lot together.

"Look, if they are asking you for partial nudity for this movie," he says and I pause. What is he thinking that they asked me? Is he that…no, maybe it's better for him to think this rather than anything else. We have discussed it in the past and how I'd prefer not to do it and how he'd protect me if I needed him to, "it's your decision. I just want to be the one who is able to touch you there, the only one."

I nod. I want that too but I'm scared something might happen with this other guy obviously having feelings for me. I don't think I've been so scared of something happened since that damn Beagle. I don't want anything to happen, my heart is connected so strongly to Kuon's. Nothing is going to happen, right.

"I have to go out later," he tells me and I look at him confused. "Just some work that I need to do at LME," he says and I look at him very confused. What is he talking about? Is he really going to leave me here by myself to work through these…no, it's very common for Kuon to have to take care of some paperwork, same as me. We are both dedicated to our jobs as well as one another.

"Will you be out very late?" I ask him and he kisses my cheek affectionately.

"I hope not," he tells me and I have to hum and nod. I'll hopefully be able to work with these feelings by myself, I don't want to burden him any more than I have been doing. His eyes drift over to a large bag that he has asked me not to look in. He isn't leaving me for the night, is he? Nobody told him about the kiss, did they?

…

…

I feel guilty for leaving her because I'm sure that there's something that she's not telling me but I also know that pushing her isn't healthy. Sometimes when she has trouble voicing her thoughts, she just needs some space and she'll tell me later. I just hope that I can give her everything that she needs when she is ready to speak about what happened. She told me that she still has the role so it's not that but it could be dozens of other things. I just have to give her time.

That being said though, I can at least check out the acoustics in this room and on the mic. It was extremely easy to get to this room because I entered as Kuon Hizuri, went to the celebrity backstage area and got changed into my 'Maze' outfit and makeup without anyone spotting me.

I sit on the bench, my hand up to the microphone and I close my eyes.

 _When I was all alone_

 _Through all that misery and pain_

 _I saw your face, I heard your name_

 _I heard that you'd make me strong, you'd make me fight, you'd make sure that I'd never do it again_

 _No, not again._

 _Now I'm fighting through the fire_

 _Now I'm swimming through the flood_

 _I'm cutting the electric wires on this cage_

 _This cage that's filled with blood, filled with bloooooo-_

I hear someone enter the room and I pause. How could anyone even know that I was here? I double checked, nobody was supposed to have checked out this room. I freeze as I look at two people who I know -well, Kuon knows very well.

"Who the heck are you!?" Matsushima asks as he approaches me and I wonder if he's actually going to call the police on me.

"A singer," I shrug. I know that it'd be worse to have the police catch me than Matsushima and Nakazawa, well especially Matsushima.

"You're not affiliated with LME are you so how did you get into this room?" Nakazawa asks and I pause. These two probably won't do me any harm if I reveal myself but it's too early to let anyone in on the secret. Yet, having security learn of my dual identity would be worse.

"May I speak in one of your offices?" I ask and they look between each other, "I'm not listed as an LME singer, no, but I do work in one of your other departments."

The two look at each other stunned and I sigh. I stand up and walk to the door, closing it as they are surprised by my bold action. I take a deep breath in as I lock it and see them on the defensive. Removing the wig and contacts, I look at them despite the mascara and other makeup. They look between themselves as if I've gone completely insane.

"Kuon?" Matsushima asks and I weakly smile. "Why are you dressed like that? Is this some kind of a…is this some kind of a role that the president has set up?" he says before looking at Nakazawa who is now paying more attention to the recording that I've stopped.

"Hizuri," he says impressed and I sigh.

"Kuon," I tell him and he nods as Matsushima approaches him.

"Okay, Kuon, I didn't know that you could sing. I mean, we all know how easily you played the piano in Dark Moon even though you hadn't taken proper piano lessons but your singing sounded amazing, can I play this back?" he asks and I nod. I have to admit that I at least sound decent. "And you wrote these lyrics yourself," I nod again.

"Are you trying to be a professional singer along with the other jobs you have?" Matsushima laughs and I pause, dropping my head. This man has helped me with my acting since before I got popular so it feels rewarding that he's excited about my new venture but I'm starting to feel a little nervous.

"I've always wanted to work with you in some capacity," Nakazawa continues, "And this style you're going with is…well it's pretty popular right now, if we could only refine it. So, the president has arranged this?" he asks and I hesitate.

"I was hoping to audition in a disguise, the men's auditions are coming up and…" I tell them and they look to each other again, the confusion growing in their expressions. I know that they are really asking why I would go through something like that, why not go in as myself, use my own name to market my new skills because people would pay more attention. It kind of gets rid of some of the thrill for me.

"There are other ways to audition," Matsushima nods, "if you really want to do it that way."

"Why not just go under the name Kuon?" Nakazawa states and Matsushima shakes his head.

"Trust me, that's not the way Kuon is, I've worked with him for years now. Okay, we'll have to work together on this, the three of us but I insist that you do a private audition for the president. This is going to be a lot of fun working on this character with you," Matsushima tells me and Nakazawa nods in agreement.

"But I get to help you with the music aspect," he tells me and I know that these two will keep this confidential. I mean a lot to the agency and I mean even more to the president.

…

…

I am at a complete loss of what to do and fortunately I have been able to meet up with Moko. Moko knows exactly how hard it is to work as a woman in the acting arena and though Kuon is of course knowledgeable about a lot of the industry, he's worked his way up as a man with a background where he was spoiled in material goods. I think Moko's advice might help me, especially with this.

"I feel that the producer is attracted to me," I tell her and she hums as she starts to slice the scone that she's ordered from this café. There are many more pastries here but Moko still cares a lot for her body. "And he kissed my cheek and I'm not sure whether to tell Kuon or not."

"Is he ugly?" Moko asks and I shake my head, I don't understand why I blush a little as I look down. Is it supposed to make you blush if you love your husband, no. I do love Kuon. I love him so incredibly much.

"He's not ugly but he's definitely not as good looking as Kuon in," I tell her and start to think about my precious Corn and how happy we are together. "I'm worried that if I don't tell Kuon and he finds out on his own that…well I'm scared that I might hurt him,"

"Wouldn't he feel worse if you lost the job because of him?" Moko asks and I pause, that could be true. Kuon has always supported my career and he has such an incredible work ethic himself. He told me that the only thing he has been late for was in Guam and the reason was that he was spending time with me. He is known for his amazing skills both on and off screen.

"Yes," I hum, is that reason enough to try to please another man.

"So, do whatever he wants you to do, the producer," Moko tells me and I stare at her, "I mean, as long as you're not literally giving him your body then it should be okay. I do it all the time for the best roles," she admits and my jaw drops. I don't know how to argue with her but there is still one argument running through my head, she isn't married.

 **End of Chapter Three**

 **Thank you so much for reading**

 **Thank you to** _H-Nala, kotoko-98, Kris XD, and paulagato_ __ **for reviewing Chapter Two**


	5. Chapter 4 - Meet Me There

**AN: The producer is a little bit more creepy in this chapter. Hope you enjoy. I had fun writing the conversation at the end**

 **Chapter Four – Meet Me There**

Moko-chan told me not to worry and that sometimes producers can have different ideas when it comes to what they are working on with their actors. I still feel a little nervous that the producer seemed to want more from me than I was comfortable with but again it was only a kiss on the cheek. I'm worrying over nothing and Kuon would understand. He's an actor too and maybe he's been kissed a few times.

I am glad that my conversation with Moko-chan has put me in the right position to be working with him again, this is a really good role for my career and it can help me with my dream to be the number one actress representing Japan. I shouldn't take things too seriously.

I'm about to enter the room at the studio but I get a text from the producer.

I freeze, he's changed the address of where we're meeting which means that I might be late in seeing him. That wouldn't be good for anyone. I see that he's attached a heart emoji and that makes me squirm. Yes, heart emojis don't really mean anything but unless it's from a friend of mine, I only want them to come from Kuon.

I sigh and go to the car. I'll have to leave immediately, darn, and I was hoping to be early too.

As I make my way to the building, I freeze. I hadn't realized that it was an apartment building that he was inviting me too. No, sometimes apartment buildings have office type buildings on the lower floor, the apartment that Ren lived in was attached to a grocery store after all. He probably just wants to meet me here so that we can walk to a café or something.

I manage to find a parking spot and enter the building. I see the producer waiting for me. There's what appears to be a jewelry box and a bouquet of roses in front of him and he's wearing a formal suit. I'm only wearing a blouse and a skirt but at least they were given to me at a modelling shoot I did. I smile as I come towards him, maybe he is waiting for somebody else? Yeah. He probably just wants to fit me in really quickly.

"You're as gorgeous as ever," he tells me and I pale before bowing.

"Thank you," I tell him and look around, "Were you expecting anyone else?" I ask as my eyes can't stop going towards the jewelry box on the table. It must be someone special to him for him to give her such a gift. I notice the company name on the box. Kuon has bought from here before for special occasions, it's definitely somewhere that's pricier than elsewhere.

"Since you're my star, I thought I'd treat you," he tells me. "They are preparing some hamburger steaks for us right now and I made sure that yours had an egg on top of it. That's what you said you liked in your interviews."

I blink back at him. He's been reading my interviews? Is it normal for a producer to do that? Well, he has to make sure that he hires the right people. I nod and feel myself start to panic as he lifts up the jewelry box and I scream inside of my own head. What if Kuon were to find out about this! I can't accept this! He knows that I'm married, doesn't he?

"Please accept this. I can't have my lead actress looking dim and unfit to be the lead in my masterpiece," he tells me and I freeze. Isn't that one step away from calling me a plain boring woman? No. I'm thinking too much about this. Moko advised me to give this man anything he asked for. My hands shakily take the box and I see that there are gems making up a flower in the middle and a little fairy charm on the clasp. My eyes widen at what looks like thousands of dollars in my hand.

"I can't accept this," I tell him as I try to hand it back to him. He frowns at me.

"I really expected more of you," he tells me, "Don't you want this role. I'm only trying to provide for my actors, I would do the same for any of the most beautiful women in the world who choose to work with me. They'd be flattered," he sighs and I nervously try to pass the box back.

"It's not that I'm ungrateful but I don't want my husband to see this. I can only accept this type of thing from Kuon," I squeak and he sighs again.

"Then I guess that you can't have the role," my eyes widen. What is he talking about? Doesn't he want to hire me for my acting experience and my talent? I open my mouth but I'm not sure what to say it.

"Then thank you," I tell him with a bow though something inside of me is telling me not to take it. I smile to him and he takes my phone from me. How could he!? I only put it…

"I'm sorry. I'd like to add my personal number," he tells me and I open my mouth to protest, "Tomorrow night, wear your most elegant evening gown. We're going out for a private dinner," he tells me and my jaw drops. No. Moko advised you to just do what he wanted. I nod.

"Kuon won't have to know, right?" I ask and the producer grins.

"My lips are sealed," he winks and I nod. I'll go on the dinner as a professional actress. It doesn't mean a date even if I do wear a dress but it feels wrong to be hiding anything from Kuon. What he doesn't know, can't really hurt him. Isn't that the saying?

…

…

"So," Matsushima says as he faces me. "The auditions are going to be coming soon and though I think that you should just tell the president directly what your plans are, do you think you have the character of MAZE down?" he asks me and I nod. I turn to Nakazawa who is listening to my most recent recording. These guys must have extra time on their hands because they are taking this far more seriously than I expected.

"Do you think that I can actually…sing?" I ask them and Nakazawa raises an eyebrow.

"I haven't seen a lot that you can't do," he said before nodding, "You have a voice that is extremely marketable and nobody would expect this from Kuon Hizuri," he tells me. That's good because right now with the subtle makeup, the wig, the clothes, I'm not really myself. I'm MAZE. I'm a singer who cares most about his voice and the message that he's spreading to the world or at least the Tokyo area.

"Are you ready to do It again?" Nakazawa asks me and I smile before nodding.

"Let me just get a coffee," I tell him and leave the room, leaving my guitar there and hear the two of them chatter about what a great plot this is and how it would make me and by association LME even more popular and prolific than ever. I just wanted to do something fun, not too hard.

I walk over to the vending machine. Just a black coffee is all I need for right now, it steadies me and settles my nerves. I am completely absorbed in the activity, so much that I don't notice somebody standing behind me. I quickly get into character. "Sorry," I shrug and hear a hum. I turn slowly and see Lory standing there and watching me with an amused look on his face.

"Aren't you the pre-" I drop down into a bow but he sighs.

"Who taught you how to apply makeup," he says and I freeze. Can he really just tell that it's me underneath all of this? Wouldn't he just think that I'm a celebrity that he hasn't seen before? I shift nervously.

"I don't know what you…I'm just a…" I tell him and see that grin on his face. I try to think of where I slipped up. The wig is correct, the clothes aren't of my usual style at all, I'm wearing mascara for god's sake. I stare at him and see him raise an eyebrow.

"I'm guessing that it was Julienna who taught you how to apply mascara," he tells me and my jaw drops. "I mean, I wish that you had consulted with me. I don't think Shuuhei is this effective with makeup though I still don't know what you Hizuris do behind closed doors."

I twitch, if he's able to tell who I am then Kyoko will have absolutely no difficulty in it. How is he able to know who I am? Are there flaws to my disguise or does he really have the mind reading abilities I've always suspected him of having.

"How did you know it was me?" I ask and he frowns.

"Numerous ways but maybe because I've known you since you were an infant, maybe because I helped you with the Ren Tsuruga and Cain Heel disguises, maybe because I care about you as if you're part of my own family," he tells me and I laugh weakly. "I am interested about the makeup. Have you ever considered drag?"

"Other than drag racing, no" I tell him with a quick shake of my head. "I was going to try to fool you at the auditions. I need some outlet for my boredom, thought trying to be a singer would work," I chuckle and he looks at me as if trying to draw anything else out of me. "Kyoko doesn't know. I thought that the disguise would be able to fool her. I'm…"

"How thick is the mascara that you're using?" he asks me, "I'd apply the eyeshadow a bit more. You know, she could be fooled, I never expected that I'd see _you_ of all people wearing makeup," he smiles. He looks away. "The idea of the auditions is to find new talent," he tells me. "However, if you really want to use that as a way of legitimizing your character then I'll give you special consideration but if I find out you can't sing then I'm going to force you to never do this again."

"You mean…" I ask cautiously and he smiles with a shake of his head.

"I never thought that I would be saying this but yes, I'll let you be a singer in an _additional_ addition to our LME family but you have to prove to me that you can sing and I think that you need to work on maybe applying some foundation if you truly want to fool your wife."

"Uh, yeah," I twitch before going back to the recording studio. I don't know if I should be telling Matsuhsima and Nakazawa that the president more or less gave me an automatic in. I still can't believe that he recognized me. I thought that I could fool anyone.

This is going to require a different approach if I don't want there to be a chance of Kyoko finding out. I pick up my guitar and enter the sound studio. "Let's do another take," I tell them as I set the coffee down. I need to fully embrace MAZE otherwise the whole of Japan will know that Kuon Hizuri actually enjoys wearing mascara.

 **End of Chapter Four**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Three**

Erza, H-Nala, Kaname671, Paulagato

 **Author Response**

Kyoko will definitely wrestle with the idea of telling Kuon but he's trying to keep MAZE from her as well which maybe he should tell _her_ about 😉


	6. Chapter 5 - Exposure

**AN:** Painful cliffhanger but I hope you enjoy

 **Chapter Five - Exposure**

I need to work more on my disguise. Apparently the songs are coming along well and I've been told that I'm a talented singer but I still need to work on a disguise that even Kyoko can't see through. I hate that I have to spend time away from her to do it and asking her would be very beneficial to me but I want for it to be a surprise. I nervously sit on our bed as I look through some makeup chains on my phone.

Yes, I'll get her some gifts too and then she'll be less suspicious.

The door to our room opens and I smile at her but she seems to be surprised to see me. She seems a little withdrawn and I'm wondering how much she knows about whether I'm hiding something from her. I stand up, trying to take a step towards her whilst putting my phone on the lock screen. I reach out for her but she flinches and her eyes widen. I don't know what's happened.

"Kyoko," I begin and she shakes her head.

"I'm okay," she tells me quickly and I blink again. Have I done something to her without realizing? "Kuon, do you have plans for tonight?" she asks me and I think back on the makeup and clothes that I was intending to buy as well as a mid-evening interview.

"Not important ones beside the interview," I tell her and she seems to stiffen a little. I look her over. Something's wrong but I can't seem to figure it out. Did I really do something or does she know that I'm hiding something from her? Is she scared about leaving to do the overseas shoot?

"I'm going out to dinner tonight, a work date," she says and she turns so that she can avoid eye contact with me. I'm confused. She usually faces me when she tells me these things. Maybe she thinks that it'll be an inconvenience for me and she'd really like me to be there with her.

"I can try and make it work if you want me to join you," I offer and she spins around with wide and terrified eyes. She must really be concerned about my work schedule? Sometimes she still acts as if I'm this god in acting even though some polls have shown that she's more popular than I am. I watch her and she shakes her head.

"No. I feel that I would be better attending by myself," she tries to explain and I nod. Sometimes it is easier not to have your significant other join you and this would give me a chance to pick up my secret supplies.

"Okay," I tell her and she seems to relax, "You want me to call you afterwards? We could maybe take a walk, get a cup of coffee."

Kyoko smiles and walks over to me, putting a hand to my cheek and she kisses me affectionately. "I'd love that. Thank you, Kuon."

…

…..

I feel really awful as I sit wearing a fashionable designer dress and waiting for the producer to meet me. He told me to dress up as if we were going on a regular date, he said that it would cause less suspicion because I was well known and we could blend in. As much as I really wanted to wear one of these dresses when I was younger, I feel nervous when I'm wearing it with anyone else but Kuon beside me. I like when he makes sure that I'm okay with those concerned glances and how he'll hold me close to him if I get cold.

I don't want to be with this guy, everything feels weird already but both Kuon and Moko-chan have told me that sometimes I'll have to do things that I don't like to get a role. It's just the business of acting. It's just like when I wore my Love Me uniform to the Kyurara auditions.

"My princess," I hear a voice beside me and my back straightens. I want to yell at him not to use that name. That name is one that I associate with Kuon and that Kuon calls me. It's not allowed to be said by anyone apart from Kuon. Still, I feel on edge already and I let it pass. I feel dirty hearing it said by someone else.

Sota-san, the producer has already told me not to refer to him by his last name and that makes me feel even more awkward. At least with Kuon I called him Tsuruga-san for the majority of the time before we became a couple. Kuon is the most important person in my life. Only he should have the honor of no honorifics…well him and Father.

"That's what my husband calls me," I try to tell him so that he'll stop but he takes my hand and kisses it. I feel as if someone has just covered me in mud and slime and stuck a wooden board up telling people how disgusting I am.

"Well, he has good taste, let's go inside," he tells me as he leads me to a fancy dining establishment. I feel even worse as he goes to the front counter and manages to charm the host. He gestures back at me, "This is my girlfriend," he tells the man and I look at him.

"I'm Kuon Hizuri's wife," I quickly say as I want to run away. Sota-san chuckles at this.

"I meant that she is my girl," he pauses, "friend." I look at him suspiciously, I don't think that's what he meant at all. I should have brought Kuon along, asked him to join us. I would be much more at ease if Kuon was here as well.

"I'm not his girlfriend," I state quickly and Sota rolls his eyes.

"Thank you for making that very clear," he says as if I've embarrassed him. He gestures that I should take a seat and I feel tears in my eyes. What would Kuon say if he saw this? Would he want to get a divorce? "Are you really crying? You're that immature, might as well look around for a different actress," he says and I pause. Kuon would be disappointed in me if I lost the role in this way.

I brush away my tears and then nod, "Let's have a nice meal," I tell him trying to slip into one of my roles so that it doesn't feel as scary for me and so that I don't have any thoughts or beliefs that I'm cheating on my treasured Corn.

…..

…..

I actually felt confident to put on my disguise before going out to the shops and as I'm looking at the different makeup, I hear a woman approach me. "Do you need any help?" she asks me politely and I look at her. I don't know whether to admit that I actually might need someone with some knowledge on male makeup or whether to remain quiet. Well, I think that I might be able to do this.

"Yeah," I rub the back of my neck using a fake voice so that only Kyoko, the president, and my parents could have a chance of seeing me through my disguise. "I'm tryna be a visual kei artist but I haven't gotten anything through the agency yet and see, I've got this awesome audition set up."

"You know," the sales associate grins to me, "A lot of the stars actually start out with some of these products. If I could get a closer look at your face," she says and I turn to her. I'm glad that I have my contacts secured, one look at my actual eyes and it'd bring up some red flags. "I like the shape of your face," she tells me before blushing.

"Uh, I also wanna pick something up for my wi-girlfriend," I tell her and she nods. "I think she likes like the stuff that came out with the like…the princess bottles, you know that special uh…set" I try desperately to cling to character and this girl seems to believe me. The next place that I'm going to go to is a unisex jewelry store to try to get some more things to stick to my character.

In less than twenty minutes, the girl has picked out some pretty good stuff for me and taken me to the front counter. She rings it up and I pale as I realize that I'm either going to have to pay by card or leave some things behind. I take a look at her as she asks for my money and I take another breath as I turn to her.

"I'm trusting you with something important," I tell her and she looks at me curiously. I shouldn't do this. By just letting one outsider know, that might make the entire persona crumble into nothing. Still, this isn't going to have circumstances like when I was Ren Tsuruga and I was trying to protect the identity of Kuon Hizuri. I'm going to let people know eventually anyway. "You promise not to tell? This is kind of some character research," I wink and she nods.

"I promise," she says and I see by her face that she has no idea who I am. She probably thinks that I'm some young actor trying to make a name for myself in the business and I'm just very nervous about trying to get into character.

I sigh and pull out my credit card and she stares at it before staring up at me wide eyed, her jaw dropping. I put a finger to my lips and she continues to watch me as if I'm some strange alien being. She nods nervously before handling my credit card as if it's something out of an Indiana Jones movie. She pulls out the receipt and gestures for me to sign it whilst continuing to stare at me in complete confusion.

"Can I…" she says as she grabs a magazine and flips to a picture of me from a modelling shoot. "Can I get your autograph," she asks and I sigh before nodding and sign my name. She stares at me again before she can't keep herself from hugging me.

"Thank you," she whispers before bowing quickly and puts the magazine behind the counter. She has tears in her eyes and she hands me a tote. I know that by looking at her I can trust her. I also know that she's probably going to have that picture from the magazine framed and is going to spend hours looking at it. "This is the best day of my life," she tells me before bowing again, "Thank you, Kuon-sama," she says and I can barely hear it. "I'll keep your secret."

I thank her before leaving. I take the bag and then make my way to the jewelry store. I want to get Kyoko one of those jewelry pieces that she loves so much. As I make my way to the store though, I hear laughter and I feel that it sounds familiar.

I turn in the direction of the sound and my heart starts beating faster as I see Kyoko with her hand holding to one of a very handsome Japanese guy. This reminds me of Ren. Did she only fall in love with Ren because of his – no, I'm going crazy. Kyoko is my wife. She loves me and I look different than I did when I was Ren.

"You'll call me, won't you?" he asks her before my brain seems to scream at me. She laughs and it's almost as if she's looking at him longingly.

"Yes," she tells him and I don't understand. Who is this guy?

I feel my heart twisting in my chest like a wrung out cloth as he leans down and kisses her cheek and she smiles to him still. My eyes widen and I clear my throat as they both turn to me and Kyoko blinks hard before her body turns as white as the makeup is making mine and she stares at me in confusion.

"Someone you know, my princess?" he asks and Kyoko shakes her head.

"I don't think so," she whispers but I know that she's able to see exactly who I am. Damn her gift!

 **End of Chapter Five**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Four**

Erza, H-Nala, Kaname671, paulagato

 **Thanks for the support**


	7. Chapter 6 - Sacrifices

**AN:** There are some painful moments in this chapter but it will get better, so just hold in there. I also will not be updating fics this quickly unless I'm really inspired to write them (or it's Repeat Previous Song) so please understand that it's not the norm 😉 Thank you.

 **Chapter Six – Sacrifices**

I want to get out of this situation. Sota-san is holding my hand and because I'm trying to cling desperately to character, I'm letting him. All I can do though is picture Kuon in this man's place. If Kuon wanted to hold my hand it would be fine. If Kuon wanted to walk down the street with me then I would be thrilled – also I'd just call it a regular day of the week. This man isn't Kuon and we don't share a last name at all.

"I bet that you and I would look pretty good together at the opening night," Sota tells me with a soft chuckle and I am screaming inside my brain. I _don't_ want to be with Sota. I _want_ to be with Kuon. I try to laugh it off. He's joking. These are jokes that he's making. "I mean, it's international and I'm sure that your husband is working."

"Kuon works incredibly hard," I whisper as I try to keep my mind focused on his relaxed smile. I only want for him to be happy, "but I know that he'd want to be there for me." I sigh and look down, my breath gets shallow and I struggle to speak before looking up and what I'm seeing is quite bizarre.

Since when did Kuon start wearing makeup? Is this his research for a character that I don't know about, maybe a biopic. I try to resist calling out his name and asking him what he's doing dressed up like that but I see those eyes take in my hand in Sota's behind that mascara. Okay. Maybe I should be thinking about my own problems right now.

I freeze as I look at him and it's not anger that I'm seeing but it's disbelief and pain and this haunts me the most.

"You'll call me won't you?" the man asks me and I try to steady my breaths. What am I supposed to say, that Kuon is standing right in front of us? What if this _is_ for an acting role and his identity is secret. I fee; the pain through my body and look at Sota-san, trying to think of Kuon being there. I laugh trying to stay in character because that's my instinct.

"Yes," I tell him and I see Kuon shift nervously. He should know what I'm doing. He _does_ know that this isn't real, don't he?

He clears his throat as if not realizing that I know who he is, that I've seen him. I see the pain in his eyes increase. I know he thinks I must be cheating on him and he pales. I just want to throw my arms around him and promise him that I'm his entirely.

That disgusting producer kisses my cheek and I feel like I'm losing Kuon. I can't break character, not unless he says something. "Someone you know, my princess?" Sota-san asks and I don't know what to do. That's Kuon's name for me but I can't expose him. Would Kuon forgive me for doing that?

"I don't think so," I whisper. I see him looking uncharacteristically weak before he nods and starts walking off. I know he's hurt. He must think that I'm cheating on him. I mean, designer dress, makeup, jewelry he's never seen me wear before and that he hasn't bought me. I want to die right now because hurting the man who has been there for me, hurting the person I love most in the entire world. That is the most painful thing for me.

As he is no longer here, I turn to Sota-san and look down, my heart twisting. "I have to get home. Kuon must be finished with his interview. He wanted to spend some time together."

"I was hoping that we could work on some of the lines for the drama and some of the ways that you could appear for the publicity photos," he tells me and I wish that those would take place on another day. I need to explain myself to Kuon. He'll be hurt if I don't talk to him as soon as I can. "You want to be a great actress, right?" he asks me and I don't know what to say. "I could blacklist you," he says and my heart is pounding in my chest. I turn to him horrified. Did he just blackmail me? Is he going to continue doing so?

I feel trapped and I don't want Kuon to be disappointed in me and even more than that, if I'm blacklisted then it'll rub off on him and his career might suffer. I know that Kuon has worked for most of his life on his acting career. I can't steal that from him. I nod although I'm crushed inside. I'm not sure what Kuon was doing in that disguise but I have to preserve his career no matter what.

…

…

It's two hours since I saw her with that other man and she's still not home. I look down at my suitcase and backpack. I hadn't wanted to leave but it hurts too much to know that she's been cheating on me. I pick up my guitar as the thoughts turn even crazier in my mind. I'm overthinking this, I need to trust her.

Should I wait another hour for her? Maybe I should tell her what's happening. That I'm attempting to be a visual kei singer but do I owe her an explanation? Do I want my marriage to work is the real question and I do, I want to listen to her and try to find some way of working out what's going on.

I take another breath as I decide to make a soup to calm myself down. Kyoko's taught me a lot about cooking since we became a couple and I've helped her make this soup numerous times. I don't really care about eating it but I can't just sit around and do nothing.

I need to concentrate.

As I'm mixing the ingredients, I hear the door open quickly and I bring it down to a low simmer. I don't know how to feel. I feel lost and betrayed and it isn't fair. I've been there for her when other people haven't. I don't deserve to be treated like trash.

I look at her and see that she's been crying and then my eyes widen as I see that the dress she's wearing has been torn a little and she's got a mark on her neck that I didn't give to her. She looks at me, her whole body shaking before she crashes onto the floor. I can't find it in me to be angry with her right now. Maybe later I will be but she needs comforting. I see that there are also bruises which look like finger marks on her skin.

"Kyoko?" I ask as I kneel opposite her.

Did that guy take advantage of her? She bows her head as the tears don't seem to stop and I wrap my arms around her. I'm frustrated that she didn't tell me about this, no, I'm angry and hurt but my anger and pain can be set aside for now. She clings to me and sobs into my chest.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she whispers and I gently rub her back hoping to calm her down. I am trying to be calm for her sake and she looks down. "I agreed to it but I didn't want it," she tells me and I don't know what to say. She looks behind me to see the suitcase and the backpack and she stands up, taking a step backwards.

"Please leave," she tells me and I have no idea what to do. Wouldn't she want me to stay? I want to take her to the hospital, make sure she gets medical care. To hell with my feelings. "I don't want you here, Tsuruga-san," she says and I blink hard. Did she hit her head or something?

"Tsuruga-san?" I repeat, why on earth did she call me that? I've been Kuon Hizuri for a very long time now. "Let me take you to the hospital, you're obviously hurt, we can talk later," I tell her firmly but she shakes her head.

"You think I could ever love a half-breed monster like you, you murderer?" she asks me and I pause, my entire body turning cold. What is she talking about? "Are you going to kill me like you killed Rick?" I pause and shake my head. I don't know what she's talking about but she needs help. I try to take a step towards her but she pulls back. "If you won't leave then I will!" she tells me and I open my mouth. Is this what she really wants? Her eyes are showing that she seems serious?

"I've always hated you," she tells me and I feel so lost and confused. "I only dated you to raise my own popularity to get revenge and I took it a bit too far," she whispers and I look at her, my body still cold.

"You really want me to leave?" I ask and she nods. I put my jacket on before putting my shoes on and grab my stuff. I pass her, my concern and affection for her not leaving but she really seems to hate me. I don't get it. "Call me if you need me?" I ask her and she nods, "I love you," I tell her before leaving her alone. I hate to do it but she's obviously made her choice.

…

….

Once the door closes, I fall back onto the floor and put my hands in front of me. I'm bawling now but I couldn't manipulate him to stay. "I love you too," I whisper as I realize that now he's gone. I don't want to think back on what happened this night. I betrayed my sweet and loving Kuon. Yes, Kuon does have an anger problem at times and he feels emotions perhaps a bit too strongly but he was willing to forgive me, I know he was.

That's why I couldn't have him here. I couldn't manipulate him into staying.

I can't believe I have to see that asshole after tonight. He took advantage of me and I still have to see him because that's what you do when you're an actress. I don't care about acting though. I care about my precious Kuon. I don't know what Kuon was doing tonight but it doesn't matter. Nothing matters anymore and he needs to stay as far away from me as possible.

I hate what I said to him, how I knew which words would trigger him so much that he'd start to believe that I didn't love him.

I feel queasy. I was taken advantage by someone who controls my fate, controls Kuon's fate. Kuon has always wanted to be an actor, he's always idolized Father and wanted to follow in his footsteps. He can find someone else to love but his career is something that he won't be able to replace. I know it's hard on him but I want for him to love his career and his roles that he's offered even if I'm the one who gets hurt.

My eyes catch hold of where a picture of us on our wedding day used to be. Did he throw away the picture already? I want him. I want Kuon. I finally feel able to go to our bedroom and I see his belongings and I start to hate myself inside. I should never have taken this role. Life was perfect and now I've lost what matters to me more than anything. My precious and treasured Kuon.

 **End of Chapter Six**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Five**

H-Nala, Kaname671, ktoll9, paulagato


	8. Chapter 7 - Love and Desire

**AN:** Got really excited to write this and so I did. I had Kyoko find out earlier than I had originally planned but I thought it was a good point to do so. They will have to talk about the previous night but I wanted to wrap up the fight between them.

 **Chapter Seven – Love and Desire**

I guess the fight started about twenty minutes ago. After tracking down that producer that I saw her with, I started to get the full picture. This man took advantage of my wife meaning that he raped her or at least seduced her without proper consent and as I stand here with my hand around his throat, his words sink in.

 _If you continue on this way, Hizuri, I'll have your wife fired and all of this won't be worth it but you back away now and we can pretend this night didn't happen._

I want to kill this man, absolutely slaughter him but he's right. Kyoko and I are similar in the way that we don't think of things in a way someone would normally do. I know that to her she'd probably be more hurt if she were fired from a role and it was in the media than she is to be taken advantage of. This is just how things work in show business, I know that much from my time growing up in America. Everyone in Hollywood molests everyone else, well untrue but right now I can't really think. I back away though I know that I have a dangerous look in my eyes that would scare most people since I haven't let fifteen year old Kuon come out for a very long time.

"You should die for what you did to her," I spit out before my expression darkens and I look at the blood on my hand. The wounds will heal just fine. "Snova obidet' moyu zhenu, ty umresh, ublyudok" I say coldly as I know he's looking at me terrified. The words mean, hurt my wife again, you die, bastard. I glare at him before leaving the hotel room.

I hate to do it but Kyoko would be devastated if she lost this role.

I pull out my phone and call the best person that I can think of. I wait, feeling guilty for calling this late. Once the phone is picked up, I sigh in relief. "Boss. It's Kuon, I need you to keep an eye out for Kyoko for me…we had a fight….I'll let her tell you."

I pause as I hear Boss tells me that he'll make sure nothing happens to her. I put the phone back in my pocket, take a last look at the hotel room and leave. I want to murder that guy. I'm going to have to do something to get over my rage.

…..

…..

I feel scared as I enter the agency. It's as if somehow everyone knows what happened and I'm exposed. People know about the fight between me and Kuon and the fact that I actually slept with someone and cheated on Kuon. I take a deep breath in. People don't know, I covered the bruises with makeup, people don't know.

I really hope to not run into him today. I don't know what I'd say to him and if he comes over to me then I don't want to talk to him. Still, we belong to the same agency and so meeting one another is inevitable. Sawara-san wanted to talk to me about what would happen with the international shoot and it's still early enough that there won't be anybody on the elevator.

I press the button and wait for it to get to my floor.

As the doors open, luck would have it that Kuon would be one of the people on the elevator. I look at him and we blink to each other before he bows his head and turns from me and I've taken a number of steps away. Can't we be in the same place as one another anymore?

I try to think things through slowly. The stairs, I'll just take the stairs and get some exercise. Yes, I'll take the stairs and that will be a good chance to slow down and think things through. As I get up the stairs though, I see him walking towards Nakazawa's office. What would Kuon be doing with the music department. I open my mouth as he looks at me and then casts his eyes downwards. Won't he look at me anymore?

"Good morning," he says as he avoids eye contact, "How are you feeling? Did you sleep well?"

"It's none of your business," I tell him defensively and he looks even more hurt. "Didn't I tell you that I hated you, that I wanted nothing else to do with you." I see him nod and he looks like a scared child. I'm not seeing the real Kuon here and that hurts me but it would hurt him more if I didn't keep my distance from him.

"I'm sorry," he whispers as he closes his eyes and it's as if I've stabbed him in the chest. "I'm sorry that I couldn't make you happy, that I'm a failure of a husband."

I want to argue with him. He hasn't done anything wrong and whilst last night I saw him in a situation that I didn't think that I would ever see him in, that doesn't matter right now. I hate seeing him in such pain and depression. I feel tears in my own eyes. "Don't apologize," I tell him as I feel myself shiver. He's really hurt and I caused that to happen to him. "I don't want to hear you apologize to me."

"I'll leave you alone then," he tells me as he looks at me very solemnly. He smiles slightly, "I guess that I'll see you around." He looks away, keeping distance between us and I can't blame him. I said things to him that I shouldn't have.

At any moment I'm going to start weeping uncontrollably. It'll be like when I was a little girl. I see him smile weakly and then nod his head as he passes me and all I can see is his back. I take a deep breath in before I run over to him and throw my arms around him from behind. He flinches in shock but holds my hand in his.

"I'm sorry," I whisper to him as the tears soak through his shirt. Why couldn't I just keep him far away from me? "I didn't mean to. I didn't want you to hurt," I tell him and I close my eyes. I hear his laughter in my head, him telling me that he wants nothing to do with me. Instead he just stands there. "I'm so sorry for everything."

He stiffens before turning and I pull away from him but he brings me back to him. "It's not your fault," he tells me as he holds me close. I blink back the painful tears and I desperately cling to him, pressing my face into his shirt. "I love you, Kyoko," he reminds me with such honesty. "I'm sorry that I couldn't protect you."

I shake my head trying to tell him that it wasn't his fault and that I'm sorry too. I want for him to blame me but that's not his style. He pulls me closer and I feel that my tears are slowly starting to stop. I hear his heart and feel his breaths. How could he be so forgiving to me? "Kuon?" I ask and he hums, letting his fingers run through my hair. "I love you," I tell him and hear a weak laugh. "I really do love you."

"I love you too," he repeats and I'm glad that he's here and he doesn't hate me.

"I have to go and see Sawara-san," I tell him and he nods. I put my hand on his upper arm and look up at him, gazing into those emerald eyes. "I'll see you at home tonight?" I ask and he nods, putting a hand to my cheek and lifting my chin so that he can kiss me in a way that only he can.

"Definitely," he says as he pulls back and I hug him again. Words can't describe how much I love him.

…

…

For some reason, the president has told me that he wants to talk about my overseas plans and I can't go home until I've done so. It's late now and there are few people at the agency. I have texted Kuon, promising that I'm picking up something for dinner and that I'll be there soon. I hope he believes me.

As I walk down the hallway, I hear the sound of a guitar being played and then someone singing. After Shotaro, I didn't really want to take an interest in music but this person has a gorgeous voice which sounds even better than Shotaro's. The guitar is being played softly and slowly and I feel bad if they are recording something but I want to take a look at whoever it is who is rehearsing.

I peer through the door and see someone sitting wearing sweat pants and a hoody, not really something that an idol would wear. I stand by the doorway and listen to the song.

 _With a fairy tale kind of beauty_

 _That's the girl that I saw waiting for me_

 _Her amber eyes reflecting_

 _All that I wanted to be_

 _She changed my life_

 _She changed the world around me_

 _She lifted me up with her wings_

 _My fairy tale princess and all the love that she brings_

I laugh a little, someone singing about fairies has me feeling light inside. I take a step forwards but the singer immediately stops his guitar. I hate that I interrupted him singing such a wonderful song. Hopefully he'll accept my apology.

"Hi," I say softly and he continues to stare down, his voice sounds a little rough.

"I hoped you wouldn't find out this way," he tells me and I tilt my head. Through the bagginess of the clothes I can't really figure out his shape and I walk to the side. I look at him and as he turns to me my eyes widen. What the…

"Kuon?" I whisper as I make sure that nobody else is around. I grin. "I didn't know you could sing. I mean, I'm not surprised. Corn, you're amazing," I grin at him and he stares at me. I can see that this isn't the way that he hoped that I would find out. I walk over to him and he puts down the guitar. I sit down next to him and let my head rest against his shoulder. "Is this the reason for the makeup?" I ask him and he sighs.

"Let's just say that I was bored," he tells me and I take his hand. He's adorable. I kiss his cheek as I look at his guitar.

"Well as surprising as it was for me, can I help now that I know?" I ask and he laughs weakly. He nods and I smile happily as I let my head rest on his shoulder. He looks at his hands before closing his eyes.

"Kyoko, there's something that I feel you need to know," he tells me and I look at him. He looks disgusted by himself and I'm worried for him. Whatever he has to tell me, I want to know. I know that I hurt him so even if he tells me that he went out and slept with somebo- "The producer. Let's just say that I wanted to protect you," he says and I stare at him.

"Did you go and beat him up?" I ask. I feel that I know him too well. I should have never come home last night because Kuon would do anything in order to protect me. I kiss his cheek. "Did you hospitalize him?" I ask and Kuon sighs, bowing his head.

"I would have," he told her, "I really wanted to but he said that if I stopped when I did that he wouldn't fire you so I stopped. I really wanted to kill him," he admits and I know that he does. Kuon would do anything to keep me safe and I close my eyes.

"Thank you," I whisper. I am truly lucky to have him and to have him forgive me.

 **End of Chapter Seven**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Six**

H-Nala, Kaname671, paulagato


	9. Chapter 8 - Wrong Decisions

**Chapter Eight – Wrong Decisions**

You always think about these things as if they won't happen to you. I always did. I mean, I knew I wanted to be an actress years ago and I didn't think that I wanted to fall in love. Love seemed like a pathetic emotion but I managed to do so. I fell for someone who supported me, who I felt ease in talking to, who would give up things for me and make sacrifices. Now all of that is threatened because of the producer but I still want to do this movie.

I'm not sure what to do. If I go back to the producer then I am taking a risk with Kuon and I don't want to hurt him but if I don't – without a backup plan at least – I might damage my career. Kuon is more likely to forgive me than the Japanese people.

I think I will go back but I don't want to tell Kuon that. Since he's started to have this secret music career, I think that he's got enough to worry about. I can deal with this on my own.

I smile as I look at the makeup that he's bought. He's fully committed to this and I wish that I had a photograph of him with it on. I should have taken a picture with my camera because nobody will believe that he was wearing makeup and that he was trying to pass himself off as somebody else. I should find the humor in that. He _means_ for it to be humorous, right?

He exits the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his lower torso area and I reach for him. I love seeing his chest. There are so many girls that would love their man to be as sculpted as Kuon is. I can't believe that I'm lucky enough to be with a supermodel and a world class actor but even if he weighed six-hundred pounds and was bald with missing teeth, I'd still choose him. It's his heart, his mind, his personality that is most attractive to me.

"You're staring," he comments and I sit up.

"How can I not?" I ask him and he turns to look at me. "You're gorgeous," I look down and feel my heart flutter but I giggle softly. "It would be a crime not to appreciate it."

He rolls his eyes and laughs whilst shaking his head. "You're the one who is absolutely gorgeous," he tells me and reaches out. I feel warm as he touches my cheek with his smooth hand. He leads me into a kiss and I just want to giggle again. I'm acting like a schoolgirl. "I love you," he tells me and kisses me again, the passion and heat is there that I don't think I would find with any other man.

"Kuon," I speak slowly and I feel the guilt within me. "I was thinking that…I'd continue with the movie."

Kuon pulls back and I know that he is struggling with difficult emotions. Kuon isn't the type of person who would tell me that he forbids me from doing something. He's always been very supportive of the type of career that I've wanted and how hard I've worked for it. If Kuon were to tell me that I wasn't allowed to see that man again then he would regret it but I know how hard it is for him.

"I don't….we don't have to discuss this," he says and pulls away. I look at him hoping to find anger on his face. Anger I can argue with but it's not anger that he's feeling. It's hurt.

…..

…

Is she _insane!?_ I don't know what to say to her. That man, that producer shouldn't be anywhere near her and yet she is willingly returning to his side. I don't know if I should feel jealous because it's obviously not for those reasons that she's decided that he's a better bet than our relationship. Is she that insecure about her acting that she will actually put herself in danger rather than looking for another role?

"I've got to go," I tell her as I push my hand through my hair, "I'll definitely get something for breakfast. I'll take a picture if you want," I wink. I have to push through this by using my skills as an actor. I'm hurt and I don't want to act like a jealous husband and hurt her career.

"You didn't…" she says nervously and I don't want to be here with her right now as horrible as that sounds. She shakes her head and pulls the pillow to her body. "Are you going to be okay, Kuon?"

I look at her. Doesn't she know how much pain this is inflicting on me that she actually wants to go back to a guy who hurt her that badly, who forced himself upon her. I have _never_ forced myself upon her. Okay, maybe that isn't true, maybe my thinking isn't clear right now. I _have_ done things that she hasn't liked but I always looked back upon those times wondering how badly I'd messed up.

I don't think this asshole even knows how badly he's messed up.

"I'll be fine," I say as I go to the closet and pick out some clothes for the day. Kyoko watches me. I know she's debating over whether or not to make a movement towards me. I might be scaring her but I'm her husband. I know that date rape isn't good but I should be able to touch her however _I_ want to and not however any other man wants to grab her and force her into an uncomfortable and unreasonable situation.

She blinks and looks down at the mattress sadly, "Will you?"

I don't want to respond. She's worked so hard to get where she is as an actress and celebrity. I shouldn't have tried to consider the fact that she would sacrifice that for me. I'm just a man who loves her. Kyoko has never really responded well to love.

"I will be," I nod as I get changed and then grab the things that I need for the day. There is still time to drop by a convenience store. Hell, there's still time to actually go into a restaurant and sit down and have a proper meal whilst not rushing myself. I've got songs to practice and lines to memorize though. If she's going to prioritize her work over me then I can do the same thing.

I walk out the room without saying anything but drop my head and sigh, the gloom is real. Maybe she doesn't love me as much as I thought that she did, as much as I wanted to believe that she did but I shouldn't become somebody else just because of this anger. It's not fair on her. It's not fair on either of us.

I return to the room and look at her, she looks scared. Did I cause her to fear me?

"I love you, princess" I tell her and she smiles at me although I can see that she feels ashamed of her decision. She smiles to me nervously. I never meant for her to think of me as a villain. I've always wanted to be cast as the fairy prince or at least a hardworking knight in her eyes. She nods before gazing into my eyes and I feel that spark of excitement that I always have whenever out eyes meet.

"I love you too, Corn" she tells me and I smile weakly before turning to the door. As I open it I swear that she's crying but I'm hurt too. I don't want to discuss this. She's made her decision and I have to live with the fact that her decision this time _isn't_ me.

…

…..

I take a deep breath in as I look at the director. I know that he doesn't know anything about what happened between me and the producer and that's working in my favor. I just have to keep my calm and protect myself a little bit better. The same thing won't happen twice and I've heard that Hollywood actresses have to go through this all the time.

Hopefully Kuon will forgive me.

Kuon has always supported me even when it meant that he had to sacrifice something himself. He has always tried to help me with his advice and knowledge about the industry and I've always felt safe with him being there but maybe that's the problem, maybe I've been relying on that safety too much and need to take risks. If Kuon really does love me as much as he says that he does then he won't hold it against me that I returned here.

He'll understand and he'll forgive me. That's who Kuon is.

He's got his music career to think about anyway, he won't have to hear my stories about what happened on set and he hopefully won't pry too much when it comes to the interactions between me and the producer. I am getting some information from the director when I hear someone enter the room and it's a good thing that I'm an actress of my caliber because otherwise I'd give things away with how frightened I am.

"You returned," Sota tells me and I nod. I don't know what to say. "So you are dedicated to your acting."

"Was there ever any doubt," the director laughs and I feel that he's attacking me and stabbing me numerous times. He doesn't know the truth. Sota wouldn't let the truth slip out especially when Japan would instantly side with the Hizuri family and I mean, Kuu and Kuon. I try to laugh as well and Sota puts an unwelcomed hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. "This is Kyoko that we're talking about."

I try to smile before hearing someone from the front desk come into the room, she's smiling and definitely doesn't feel the tension in the room. "Kyoko-san," she says and both Sota and the director turn to me. "You have a visitor, should I tell him that you're in a meeting?"

I take a shaky breath in and nod but hear very familiar footsteps and see a massive bouquet of flowers that look like the ones that Shotaro surprised me with that day I was on the Dark Moon set. The ones that were meant to intimidate Kuon. I see him staring at me and then before I know it, he's wrapped his arm tightly around me and pulled me close to his body.

I can see him glaring at Sota and I wonder what the director makes of this. It's usually only the jealous boyfriends who do this and Kuon has always respected my reserved nature.

"Sorry," he smiles and I know that there is hate burning up within him. "I can't help but hold her as close to me as possible. If you had a wife like this then you'd understand. I can't be away from her for a long long time."

I pause and I have a feeling of what the director is going to say. This involves some overseas locations and Kuon can't possible rearrange his schedule enough to follow me to each and every spot where we're going to shoot. He trusted me before. He was going to stay here and wait for me before.

"Kuon-san," the director says. "How is that even possible?" he asks and Kuon grins in return.

"I'll make it possible," he says with that gentleman's smile. Isn't he supposed to be on set or at an interview or something. He's not supposed to burst into a private meeting and act so obsessive and overprotective. This isn't going to help my professional career at all. I can't be someone who has a jealous husband attach to me, especially a high status one like Kuon.

"You can't do that," I tell him as I pull myself away from him and see his eyes widen in shock. "You're not allowed to do that."

"I'm _allowed_ to do anything I want," he tells me as he grabs my wrist and I yank it away from him. "I can organize things, I can ask the directors for time off."

"I don't want you to do that," I tell him and he looks at me in shock again. "I want to do this without you."

Kuon's jaw drops and I turn to him feeling the tears building up in my eyes. It's worse as I hear a noise behind me. Sota is laughing about this.

 **End of Chapter Eight**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Seven**

H-Nala, Kaname671, Paulagato

 **Author Response:**

Lory will definitely have a lot to say about this and Kuon is going to go through some emotional changes as well especially with the last scene.


	10. Chapter 9 - Left Out

**Chapter Nine – Left Out**

Once again, she's satisfied to treat me as the villain in our lives. I have been supportive of her for years, ever since we were children, and now it doesn't feel as if she even wants me here. I admit that maybe I'm acting a little too rashly but this guy took advantage of my wife and yet she returned to his side as if nothing has happened.

That demon starts laughing at mine and Kyoko's conversation and I feel pissed. He wasn't invited to join in on this. I turn to Kyoko but she ignores the laughing. It's as if she's siding with him and this whole thing seems impossible to me.

"Can't you let her go?" the asshole asks and I glare at him, "are you that obsessed? Imagine what the media would think for Kuon Hizuri to be acting in such an ungentlemanly way. Tsk, tsk" he shakes his head and it's taking a lot of control not to hit him. I feel myself shudder before raising an eyebrow.

"What would you know about being a gentleman?" I ask. God damn it, Kyoko. Can't you actually see that all I want to do is protect you.

"You should leave, Kuon," she tells me and I stare at her wide eyed. I mean, all I want to do is protect her and she's pushing me away. I didn't think that she would continue pushing me away after we got married. How can I _not_ feel hurt from her doing this.

"I…I don't want to leave," I argue and Kyoko takes a step towards me. I see the frustration in her eyes as she starts to look more like Mio than her loving self. She really does intend to force me out if I don't choose to go by myself. I look between them and stare at Kyoko with wide eyes, "Really?" I ask as I look at the man who hurt my wife, the man that she is choosing between the two of us.

"It would be easier," she says and I shiver.

"Then don't expect me to just wait around for you forever," I snap before leaving and I don't care what opinion or impression they have of me now. I would give up anything for my wife and it seems that she would give up being with me for her career. I didn't think she could be this stubborn.

…..

…..

It's really hard to focus for the rest of the day but I do my job as an actress. I appreciate that Kuon cares about me enough to have such an emotional reaction but he's treating me as if I'm a kid. I truly thought that he respected my acting enough to not try to lecture anymore, that he respected _me_ enough not to get jealous. I don't know what to say to him. As I park my car back in our garage, I turn to see that his car isn't there. He must have gone on a drive to clear his head or had some work job that I forgot about.

It's not uncommon for his car not to be there even when I'm expecting him to be at home. I sigh. I have a lot that I need to say to him and I definitely don't want to handle an argument between the two of us right now.

If he really isn't at home, it gives me a chance to think about what to say to him and how to approach the situation. I want him to know how important both him and my acting career are.

I love that he loves me but he's gone a little too far this time.

As I unlock the door to the house, I realize that something is different. There are a lot of small things missing that were there before and I feel that he's been here but left. His work often causes for that to happen but it doesn't explain the missing items. As I go towards the staircase, I see that there is an envelope that he's written to me.

My eyes widen, he doesn't usually do this, in fact I don't think that I've received an envelope from him that isn't filled with clues and loving sentiments and this feels a lot lighter than the usual gifts that he leaves for me. I open it before finding a handwritten piece of paper and my heart starts to pound as I look at it.

 _Princess,_

 _I can't do this right now. I love you but I can't handle this. I'm sorry._

 _Kuon_

I turn the paper over, that's all that it says? I feel a cold chill go through me and I take a short breath. He's left me. He's no longer here. I shake my head feeling unable to cope with this. It means that he's gone out on an errand, right? He's not here because he's trying to clear his head. He hasn't left, right? I wrap an arm around my chest and try to think clearly.

I take out my phone and smile at the background which is a picture of the two of us together. Please don't tell me that I really do have to decide between the man that I love, my special person, and a job that I love. He's always been supportive before and always prioritized me.

He wouldn't leave. He just needs to get his head sorted, he needs to have it not be as cloudy as it is and I know that I'm to blame for those emotions. I hesitate to call him but if this had been the other way around he would have phoned me. I might not have wanted to answer but he would have phoned me. Doesn't that show love?

I press the speed dial and wait but the phone is unanswered and I feel the fear rise and fall in my chest. I try again, maybe he was just unable to answer but there is no reply and I listen to the voice mail. I sit down, feeling tears slide down my face.

"We need to talk about this, Kuon," I whisper as I start to remember how my mother left me when I was younger and how I had poured my heart into what I believed was a happy relationship with Shotaro only for him to not have cared about me. Now Kuon doesn't want to be around me or talk to me. "I love you," I whisper realizing that I've left another long pause. I close my eyes. He has to respond. I don't know what to do if he doesn't call me back.

I wait, counting the seconds and then when I've finally reached five hundred, I try calling him again. Hopefully he's safe but I know that even if he is driving, he has his car phone. He wouldn't ignore my calls three times. He knows how worried I would be, how worried I am.

"Hello," he says in a hollow voice and I grip to the phone having heard him. He's at least there ready to talk to me.

"Kuon," I gasp as I blink back more tears, "Corn, what happe-"

"I don't want to talk," Kuon replies and I've heard that darkness in his voice before. It reminds me of when we were at Katazawa and Shotaro came to his hotel room before I had had a chance to explain to him what had happened. It had made him feel that he couldn't save me and he had wanted to. "I answered to tell you that."

"You have to listen, what you think happ-" I try again but hear him sigh.

"Right now I need to be by myself. I'll most likely come home eventually but I need to be alone for right now," he informs me and I don't know what he means by most likely. Is there a chance, no matter how slim, that he won't be coming home?

"I understand," I tell him though I really don't understand. I would prefer him to be jealous and overprotective than just not here any longer. I take some slow breaths and rest on the three words that still bond us, I just hope he says them in return. "I love you," I whisper.

I hear his pained voice, his pained reply immediately following that. "I love you too."

I hear him hang up on me and I feel my world crash around me. He's not here. He's not going to hold me in the bed tonight. He's not going to kiss me and tell me that he loves me. He's not here and I have no idea when he is coming home and unlike Shotaro, I know that I caused this. I know that if I hadn't returned to filming, he'd still be here. No, even if I had returned he would still have been here until I pushed him away.

I pushed him away and now he doesn't want anything to do with me.

I caused this mess and I don't know how to fix it.

…..

…..

I'm glad that the president is able to see me this morning, I called after I realized that Kuon wouldn't be home that night but I don't want to see his face giving me a strict lecture. He's been supporting our relationship for a while ad I hope that Kuon hasn't silenced him. Even if he has, that means that he knows how Kuon is. He knows if he's okay or give me some clue to how I can apologize to him.

"So why did you want to see me?" the president asks. He's dressed like a pharaoh again today, it seems to be one of his favorite outfits. I mean, with the colors and large props, I can understand it.

"I don't know very much about love," I tell him and he hums, putting his cigarette to his lips.

"Why do you say that?" he asks and I look away. I don't want to give him the details about what the producer did, if he knows then he will use all his power to stop the filming and then that would be just the same as Kuon trying to stop it but worse. I don't want people to think that I'm the type of person who can't handle this.

"Kuon didn't come home last night," I tell him and the president sighs. It feels almost as if I'm tattling on him. I don't know how to explain myself or the fact that Kuon was even willing to remain with me after I told him that I'd been unfaithful to him.

"Really?" the president asks and I stare at him. Why would I make such a thing up?

"Why would you ask me if I was telling the truth?" I ask him and the president sighs. He leans forward and I watch him silently. I wonder what he's going to tell me but whatever he says, I'll be ready. It's not like Kuon would cheat on me for revenge. He's more likely to hurt internally than on the outside and I don't think he'd involve other people.

"He's here today, well, MAZE is here today," the president tells me and I stand. Seeing him in person gives me more opportunity to explain what happened and to apologize. He's never been able to ignore me when I'm right in front of him. I quickly excuse myself and drop down into a deep bow.

Now, all I need to do is find him. I want us to go back to being happy and in love and he did tell me that he loves me. It's not too late to save this, it's not too late to explain to him how acting is completely different than loving him. He just needs to listen.

 **End of Chapter Nine**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

 **Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Eight**

Ashenvale, H-Nala, Kaname671


	11. Chapter 10 - It Hurts Because I Love You

**Chapter Ten – It Hurts Because I Love You**

If I concentrate on the music then that will be for the best. I just need to concentrate on how I can take this part of my career and accelerate it so that I can have fun again. I sigh. Maybe that's impossible to do after what my relationship has been tested with. I couldn't stay at home yesterday so I booked into a hotel room and kept it very confidential. I may have had a couple of beers and a warm bath but it was more or less uneventful.

I know that if I kill that guy that the media will twist it and make me into the villain, they might even pull up some of my past that people were able to forgive when the media first reported on it. If they connect the fifteen year old Kuon with someone who is jealous seemingly only over a role, my reputation will be in tatters. If I tell them what happened to my wife, Kyoko might not forgive me. I should do it anyway regardless of that. She's treating me as if I'm some insignificant ex-boyfriend. Maybe this is how you can treat an ex-boyfriend but not how one should be treating their husband.

I tune my guitar up. I have a dozen and more songs that I've written inspire by her and using her as a muse but I don't want for her to be my source of happiness right now. I'm angry. I'm pissed the hell off and I damn well have a right to be. I want to let my anger into my work.

I feel the wig and how it rests upon my head. I'm pretending to be somebody else because I think it's a game, it's some big acting session but it just goes to show me that life isn't a game. I thought that the hard and tough choices in life proved that enough to me but I guess that I can never learn. Life is too serious to be taken frivolously.

I hear the sound of a knock on the door and lift my head up. Time to introduce myself to somebody else, I guess. I close my eyes, putting myself into my role as MAZE. I'm going to be a famous songwriter, I'm going to be playing concerts all around Japan. I have the confidence to do it. I used to have the confidence to defeat anyone.

"Hey, is it okay that I'm here?" I hear a familiar voice that usually doesn't fail to bring me joy. This doesn't appear to be one of those times. I nod slowly, looking away as I try to keep control of my emotions. I want to tell her the truth that I don't want to see her but I should at least listen to her. She sees the way I'm looking away from her and she approaches me. I feel that tight sting of jealousy and my eyes go dark. How could she let someone take advantage of her like that and then choose him over me.

"Hi," she smiles and I raise an eyebrow, she bows to me in a very formal manner. "I'm Hizuri Kyoko, it's nice to meet you. I've heard that you're a -"

"Will you stop?" I ask as I look at her and stand. I walk to the side where I pull my mirror out and I take off the wig, starting to remove the makeup as she still remains in that bowed position. I shake my head. I don't want to deal with any of this right now. "Kyoko, don't you think that there's a reason I'm not coming home?" I ask and she nods, her back straightening.

"You don't want to see me," she says and I sigh, pushing my hand through my hair now that I'm not wearing makeup any longer. I look to her, feeling that there is a cold expression on my face but I've always taught myself not to slip and let out my past torment. "You don't lo-"

"This has nothing to do with love," I tell her sharply, my voice echoing on the walls. I know that she's younger than me but in some ways she's more mature, more intelligent and aware of herself and her emotions. It's love that's always been hard with her but I can't help but feel angry. "Of _course_ I love you," I tell her before shaking my head. I look away. I don't know what's hurting most, my jealousy, my fear, my inadequacy, my confusion, the taste of being pushed away by the woman I love. "If I didn't love you then it wouldn't hurt so much wanting to not be with you."

"Wanting to….not be with me?" she asks slowly and I groan. I cringe as I look down. It's a terrible thing to say to your spouse and I wish I had better ways of expressing it but I don't know how, maybe I'm a little stupid in that or at least foolish.

"I don't mean that," I tell her before looking up feeling exhausted. "Listen, I do mean that but I don't mean it."

Kyoko stares at me confused but she's attempting to hold back tears. I know she doesn't want to be an even bigger burden on me. "Tell me what you want," she says and I remember her words of advice to me, I should speak clearly and honestly and not try to make sacrifices that will only hurt me for the sake of another person.

"I need a short separation," I tell her honestly as I pull my guitar to me and she stares at me, her body shaking. "I need to put our relationship on hold. Maybe we need to seek therapy or something. You can stay in the house. I'll find somewhere else. I'm not sure if it'll be a couple of weeks or a couple of months but -"

"A couple of months?" she asks before shaking her head fiercely, "I don't want that. I don't want to be separated from you for a couple of months," she tells me and I know it's hurting her but I have to take care of both of us and I need to stop the pain that is being seeped into our relationship before there isn't any relationship left to save.

"If we truly love one another, we'll work things out but I need to be by myself for a while," I try to walk out of the room and then hear her call after me in a wounded manner.

"Did you sleep with someone else last night?"

…

…

I know that it's a horrible thing to say to him. I don't actually believe it but saying something like that will at least keep him here for a few more minutes. I just need to reason with him. It's not going to do us any good to be away from one another. I know that he'll be okay despite my worrying for him but I don't think I will be. He promised me in his vows that he'd do his best to keep me happy. Us breaking up is making me incredibly sad.

He turns to me with a hurt expression on his face as if I've continuously stabbed him in the chest whilst cackling, it's the face that you give to someone who just told you they committed some crime you would never expect them to do.

"Do you honestly think that little of me?" he asks me slowly, his voice shows how upset that question made him. He shakes his head and stands there and I feel an icy cold chill which I haven't felt for a very long time. "How could you even ask me that?"

I open my mouth to argue but to my surprise he just shakes his head and continues to walk away from me. I can sense by his body language that he doesn't want for me to follow him. I look down. I think that I'd feel upset if he accused me of wanting to be with someone else out of petty revenge. Still, it's like those dreams that I had when I was younger when he would say that I should no longer address him unless we're working together. When I was younger, I always feared that those dreams would come true but they never did, he was always smiling and accepting and most of the time, the problems would be resolved easily but this time, when I never expected for him to shove me away so coldly, that might be exactly what he is doing.

…

…

It's been a week since I last spoke with Kuon and I know that since he hasn't made further contact with me, he doesn't want to see me. I close my eyes and try not to cry. I've learned not to cry before but then when it got really bad, I would run out to where I met Corn and hold tight to the stone he gave me. During those days, I believed that Corn was a fairy prince with the ability to fly. He still can do those things but more in a figurative or symbolic fashion instead of literally flying around. I look at a glass of water next to me as I sit at the bar in the airport.

I never considered myself someone who would try to drink their emotions away. Alcohol seems so different from a fairytale but I've lost the support and respect of the person who means the most to me. Drinking might make the pain go away.

I close my eyes as I hear a song being played. This is the new artist everyone is talking about who has just been signed by LME studios. MAZE. However, unlike the other songs, this one has so much eerie pain and depression that it's as if he's yelling at me every time I hear it. I would prefer he yell at me though. I would at least have a few seconds to change his mind.

"They play this same crap everywhere," Sota-san says as he comes up to me and I stare at him. I thought that he had taken an earlier flight. I didn't think that I'd see him until we were on set, if Kuon saw me with him at a bar he'd get the wrong impression. More than that, we're in public. People could talk or a photo of us could even wind up on the internet.

"It's not crap," I whisper, "MAZE is one of my favorite performers," I tell him and sigh as he hands me what looks like another script. I look through it and then he reaches to touch my arm. I pull away and he knocks the drink that I had onto the table. After I make sure that the script and all important items aren't wet, I start grabbing for a handful of napkins and dabbing madly at where the drink spilled.

"Kyoko," Sota-san laughs as he watches me, "You are adorable. You should wait for an employee to do that, it's not your fault that it was spilled. Let me get you another drink. I'll let them know that the drink was knocked over."

I take a few breaths in and stand. I feel embarrassed that the old version of myself came out just then. I feel a little concerned about Sota being near me but I have to stand out in this work. If I get a divorce then my acting is all I have left. Kuon knows better than anyone how you have to suck up to producers and directors I this industry sometimes. He has enough talent not to need to do so but he understands the industry.

Sota-san returns with an employee to clean it up and a hostess has another drink for me. She hands Sota the tray before trying to make sure that the spill is clean before Sota hands me the tray. I smile weakly before taking the glass to my lips. Something tastes strange.

"They had to open a new bottle," Sota says and I nod slowly. That makes sense, right?

 **End of Chapter Ten**

 **Thank you for reading, reviews are appreciated**

Thank you to the reviewers of Chapter Nine

H-Nala, Kaname671


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